Side note: Hun, if you happen to stumble upon this post (she's been to the site once or twice...), please respect my privacy and treat this conversation as one I might be having with a friend of mine.
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Where am I to start? There really is no solid answer to my questions, however I would love to hear some opinions on the what my actions should be in this situation. Here's a nutshell of what's going on:
-Both of us are 22 years old.
-I'm a senior in college, she's got a bunch of different jobs, but she's mainly modeling and trying hard to get her acting career flowin.
-We've been dating for over two years.
-I've had plenty of serious relationships (IE learned quite a few good lessons) prior to this and I'd say she has a little less experience, if that doesn't sound rude to say...
-We usually spend lots of time together. Weekday/weekend evenings, post/prior school/work hours. We really enjoy eachother's company.
-We are both quite sentimental in general.
So here's where the problem lies. All the sudden last week she started hanging out with her girlfriends instead of me during the week and has been frequenting the local college bars with them, insisiting she needs some past-due girl time. I'm ok with this as I feel it's good to stress the individual development within relationships, however this is coming hand in hand with another more serious problem. Starting this past week as well, she's said she is going to need some space from me. I immediately got into protect-myself defensive mode and asked her if she's cheating on me etc. These weren't meant to be accusations, rather the kind of thing where I just want to know the facts as I'm very into honesty. I expected her to say no, I appreciate the space you've given me, but you have nothing to worry about. Instead, she got rather defensive as if I had picked the wrong nerve. For the first few days she really didn't want to talk with me as she says she's going through a lot right now with her profession finally kicking off but in a somewhat chaotic way. I've gotten out of her that she says she needs personal space where she's not with me every time she has spare time, but in reality when I've asked her to come over she says things like "didn't we go over this? I need space."
Of how much I try to be the caring and understanding guy, I've been through this before in a relationship where the girl wanted something else besides me but didn't want to let me go. Therefore I was a sucker and wound up being her emotional crutch for a few drawn out months that I despise even thinking about. I explained this all to her and *specifically stressed* that I really love her as an individual and will do whatever necessary to let her develop but that she needs to be honest with me and let me know if she's having lifestyle-change desires in that she wants to meet new guys and such. I basically said I'll stick around and give you your space and that's hard as hell for me to do, but if so, you need to be extremely honest with me. If that's going to be a problem, let me know now because I'd rather take a more serious split than be an emotional backbone without anything in direct return for the time being only to find out she takes advantage of it and such...
Here's another spin, and probably the most important. I feel that she has been seeing guys during these nights out. Maybe not meeting up, but definitely "on the prowl." Maybe it's not her specifically, but her friends aren't out to just be together four nights in a row of solid bar/club all-nighters. Here I am sitting alone at home. We had a good talk this evening but she didn't think it would be good to come over tonight as she needs her time. Usually she'd be here but instead she's at her apartment doing her thing. I understand people needing space, but I haven't seen her in almost a week (I was on vacation this weekend) and I'm wondering if she has a guy over this evening or what. People might need their individual time, but what's the deal with this being the case the past three evenings I've talked about hanging out?
So how do you guys feel about this? Am I being suckered into something here? I've had the physical discomfort you get when you find out/assume your girlfriend is cheating on you that makes you want to blast through a wall like The Hulk. I've been very honest with this girl and very clear with my intentions (To stay but bounce the second she thinks she might want something else). I'm thinking that of course she'll tell me if things change, but will she? Do you think we'll already be so distant that honoring my "demands" won't be a priority anymore, even though we're madly inlove with eachother in general?
Keep in mind that she's a very moral-driven girl. She's all about fundamentals and treating people how they should be treated, but she's already become so strangely distant that if she did stab my back it might not mean as much as if she did it during a normal phase of our relationship.
Thanks a ton if you've made it this far. I hope I sound rational, I've tried to be with her. Don't get me wrong though, as I type this I'm extremely emotional and am getting usual relationship symptoms like somewhat of a trouble sleeping/eating/ and definitely getting my mind off of her.
I appreciate any insight
-T