If you are willing to set up a linux box as your gateway, you might want to check out NoCatAuth.
You can find it at http://nocat.net/
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"You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."
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