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Originally Posted by zensheep
As I talked about in one of my previous threads, my girlfriend of over 2 years broke up with me about a month ago. I had tried to hold on to the hope that this was a passing thing but yesterday she told me was dating someone (which I felt was somewhat fast  but that's another story). I know that I need to move on, and I'm trying to limit contact with her as much as possible (I don't think I'm mature/strong enough to just cut it off completely, she means too much to me as a friend) but now it seems that the problems are coming from me.
Everywhere I look is something that reminds me of her. For example, I went grocery shopping last night. Over the speakers the entire time I was there they played a song that we had deemed 'our song' on repeat. Needless to say I was a mess trying to figure out which soup to buy. So I get home and grab a refreshing drink to clear my mind and make me feel better. Of course it just happens to be the soda brand that she introduced me to. Strike 2. After that i do a little studying for a midterm I have today, which I couldn't concentrate on at all and will probably fail, and climb into bed. I reach for a blanket as it's a pretty cold night and of course it's the one she got me last Christmas.
That pretty much did it for me, the rest of the night I was a wreck. I know it's going to take time but I'm afraid that with these constant thoughts of her I'll never properly move on. Does anyone have any similar experiences and maybe some tips to help me move on and try and put this episode in the past?
Thanks TFP. She was the one person I had who I could relay my problems to, and now that they involve her I don't really have anyone to confide in and it's just building up and making me feel awful all the time, but you guys have been here for me with advice and for that I truly appreciate it. Thanks again! |
Dude... you need someone to talk to. My best advice would be to have someone in whom you can fully trust be there to listen to you and not make any snap judgments because you have to let it out.
I wouldn't tell you to go see a therapist because not everyone agrees with that course of action and some can see that suggestion as an insult. But if you can't find any real friend or relative that you can trust to listen to you without judging you negatively for how you feel and how you're being affected by this, then do consider seeing a counselor or therapist.
In addition to finding someone to talk to I'd recommend you take up new activities that will help you forget your ex. For example, take lessons in classical guitar or classical piano. Go to a dance school and take up some ballroom lessons (cha-cha-cha, merengue, tango, slow waltz, swing, foxtrot, etc.). Start going to the gym regularly and lift weights (or do cardio). Focus on your studies (if you're still at school), or put in more time and effort at work (and earn yourself some good overtime $$$ in the process).
Moving on is
not going to be easy, but you have to start putting in lots of effort to get out there and get on with your life or else you'll always be in pain and life will pass you by.