iblade

Hi.

Reading this thread has come to make me ponder about my misconceptions about transexuals. I was very interested by it and it triggered many positive thoughts on my side.

I have always considered transexuality as a disorder, and I still do. It is in fact a disorder since there is a difference between the physical body of a person and the representation this person has of him/herself. But why would one ever want to go against nature and undertake such an tremendous operation to make very profound changes in one's own body? I was sometimes feeling very ill at ease during your descriptions, even feeling that continuing reading would become unbearable, just so you understand how uncomfortable I am with this topic. I was thinking "What freak could ever want to do this?" I can understand ssomeone wanting to change sex on a social level, a man wanting to appear like a woman in front of society, and being recognized as such, but why would they want to completely reconstruct their genital parts like that, for what is a very traumatic operation for the body? And all that for what? To be able to have sex? To feel a penis in one's own vagina?

That made me want to think what was behind such a need. And I came to compare my situation with that of your sister, Sissy.

I have had eye cancer at a very small age, and that resulted in deep scars on my face, and my right eye to be taken out. I was picked on as a kid (not that badly), but I have always wanted to be accepted, to be normal. That was my definition of happiness. And what is being happy, if not that? The feeling of oneself being in one's own place, according to the image that you have of yourself. For many people, it might be to raise a famiy, and feeling in one's own place among them. For me, it was to be accepted by my peers. For your sister, it was to be a woman, and be complete as a woman, as a woman who is fully sexually active. And that means having sex, as a woman. At that very moment, the feeling of being in one's own place, in the universe, the feeling of being in harmony with the universe because we are at our own place, because we feel that we are the way we feel we should be, and we are that way, brings true happiness.

And the pursuit of such hapiness cannot be denied to anyone. It is fundamentally human. That is why I cannot judge people who pursue it, and among those people, transexuals.

Having come to this thought, I was wondering what I would do If I ever had to face such a situation. What if the person I love was a transexual who had undergone surgical operation? Even though, one hour ago, the very idea of having sex with a person who had undergone this operation disgusted me to the point of making me want to throw up, I am feeling that now, I would do it without hesitation for the person I love, because I would want to make her happy.

Thinking about this made me consider your sister's possible lovelife. Who could accept to have sex with her, in our society?

1) people attracted to transsexuals
2) someone who would truly love her

I don't think that the people in 1) are the kind of people who your sister wants to be with. That is why I think that she should try to find someone who would truly love her. But true love takes time, a very long time. That is why I was wondering if it was the best solution to tell about her transexuality in such an early state of the relationship (you talked about 2nd date)? Telling it too soon can really have profound effetcs on many people, even if that person could ultimately become deeply in love with your sister. I also think that she would need to find someone who is comfortable enough with his own sexuality, to be able to love her without any complex. This question would be very problematic for a virgin for example.

Maybe I am going too far. I don't think this is my problem at all, but reading your post led me to develop a certain sympathy for you and your sister.

Your posts also made me wonder what the origins of transexuality could be. My opinion is that they are mainly social. Comparing with my case, it was being rejected that made me want to become normal so much, becoming almost an obsession. I beleive that such a mechanism, applied to the very sensitive issue of sexuality, and to the very influenceable mind of a small child, can lead to such very powerful effects on the human psyche, to the point of modifying one's own sexual perception. Maybe there were also events, apart from the rejection of your parents that triggered it? What is your opinion on this?