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There is a man who comes to the Renissance Fair in Colorado every year who performs stories like this (and this one too). It is much funnier in person because it takes a moment to figure out the naughty words being changed around. Very good!
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"Mommy, the presidents are squishing me!"
"Using the pull out method of contraceptive is like saying I won't use a seat belt, I'll just jump out of the car before it hits that tree."
Sara
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