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FatFreeGoodness · 11-01-2005, 07:59 AM

Better plan: take several of those credit card offers that come in the mail, supplimented by student loans. Live on them as long as possible, then sell off the stuff you bought for more time. You can live better than you would in prison for at least 18 months. You will have ruined your credit, but that blot goes away a lot faster than a criminal record.

Or sign up for ROTC. They will pay for you to attend school for four years, maybe six for certain degrees. Then they will pay you for at least four more, while offering you much more freedom than prison. If you elect to continue this for an entire career, you can, and you get to retire young, with excellent benefits!

Point by point rebuttals to your specific assertions:
"In prison, you do not need to work. Your basic necessities, such as food and shelter, are provided." You do not have to work outside, either. If you are a drug-free bum there are many shelters that will feed and house you. If one gives up on you, just go to another.

"Whoever said there is no FREE meal has obviously not considered prison as a good choice." It is not free. You give up a great deal for some unappetizing food and a cot.

"Every morning I could wake up and begin my studies of the contempary arts, or perhaps travel to the gym to work out. I've had a solid day of time, and then I'd walk the short distance back to my "room," sleep for HOWEVER long I wanted, and return to my studies the next day." Why would you think they let you wander around inside the prison as you choose, doing whatever you like?

"I don't want a felony or large crime to destroy possible jobs in the future, so I need to find a misdemeanor that provides an adequate sentence. Something with a maximum jail time of 18 months should suffice." No, you need a MINIMUM penalty of 18 months. As a first offender on good behavior you would serve only a fraction of the maximum sentence. Don’t even think of not being on good behavior. You may find that 18 months growing a bit. And you are aware that you typically are on parole for years after you get out?

"Additionally I'd have to hire a poor lawyer to defend me, so that I couldn't plea bargain out of jail time." No, you want a good lawyer, to negotiate a guilty plea in exchange for a promise of being sent to a nicer facility for a longer time. However, if they have you dead to rights, they really don't need to bargain at all, and they may not approve of your plan. You might get sent to a... less desirable place. And a good lawyer will cost you more than it would take to live a spartan life for 18 months.

"I'd likely do something like drug-dealing combined with possession of a stolen handgun. Maybe evading police officers if necessary to guarantee a solid (yet limited) set of jailtime. Because it's a misdeamanor, I could easily chalk it up to a "youthful discretion" and likely not even need to report it on job applications." No, anything that would send you to prison creates a serious and permanent criminal history. You have misconceptions about what people are willing to chalk up to “youthful indiscretion” and what you must admit to on applications.

"So, since I've chosen drug dealing, I can enjoy the LARGE profits in that market until I'm caught." If you have large profits, why not simply quit the dealing, live sparingly off the profits for the 18 months, and avoid prison?

"Since my ultimate goal was to be arrested, there's no worries about being caught drug dealing." Other than destroying others lives, permanent criminal history, loosing the respect of your loved ones, and personal danger, that is.

"The only noticable "bad thing" about jail is the limited social interaction with your current relations." Considering only social releations, it's more accurate to say that you loose many of those you have now and replace them with others that you will probably find less desirable.

"Since this is a pre-planned jailing, I'd have tons of time to let my friends know my new address at the jailhouse, should they want to "hang out" some time." Of course, they might simply drop the “friend” who obviously does not care who he hurts so long as he gets to mooch off others. If they do visit, the “quality time” won't quite be up to the level of dropping over for pizza and beer.

"18 months without sex wouldn't be horrible, as many people (myself included) went 18 years of their adolescence without sex." (An 18 year adolescence - no way. Maybe five.) Perhaps your significant other does not feel the same way. Of course, she is not compelled to abstain, now is she? Desirable companions are another thing you will find more difficult to come by as an ex-con. It's a trust thing. Once you demonstrate you are willing to lie, cheat, steal, and/or betray trust for personal gain, it's harder to get the good ones.
"So - in summary: free education, free shelter, free food, make your own schedule, be your own boss, bulk up AND lose weight, become smarter and more creative. what's NOT not to like?" Right! The proof is that you can always pick the ex-cons out of a crowd by their general glow of good health, witty repartee, and air of relaxed fulfillment! They universally express their satisfaction with the experience, and recommend it wholeheartedly!

By the way, while prisons offer high school coursework, you'll find accredited college courses in short supply. Even one did offer such work, your plan of not revealing the prison term on job applications sort of falls apart if you list your degree as coming from Folsom Prison, right?

11-01-2005, 07:59 AM	#38 (permalink)
FatFreeGoodness Tilted	Better plan: take several of those credit card offers that come in the mail, supplimented by student loans. Live on them as long as possible, then sell off the stuff you bought for more time. You can live better than you would in prison for at least 18 months. You will have ruined your credit, but that blot goes away a lot faster than a criminal record. Or sign up for ROTC. They will pay for you to attend school for four years, maybe six for certain degrees. Then they will pay you for at least four more, while offering you much more freedom than prison. If you elect to continue this for an entire career, you can, and you get to retire young, with excellent benefits! Point by point rebuttals to your specific assertions: "In prison, you do not need to work. Your basic necessities, such as food and shelter, are provided." You do not have to work outside, either. If you are a drug-free bum there are many shelters that will feed and house you. If one gives up on you, just go to another. "Whoever said there is no FREE meal has obviously not considered prison as a good choice." It is not free. You give up a great deal for some unappetizing food and a cot. "Every morning I could wake up and begin my studies of the contempary arts, or perhaps travel to the gym to work out. I've had a solid day of time, and then I'd walk the short distance back to my "room," sleep for HOWEVER long I wanted, and return to my studies the next day." Why would you think they let you wander around inside the prison as you choose, doing whatever you like? "I don't want a felony or large crime to destroy possible jobs in the future, so I need to find a misdemeanor that provides an adequate sentence. Something with a maximum jail time of 18 months should suffice." No, you need a MINIMUM penalty of 18 months. As a first offender on good behavior you would serve only a fraction of the maximum sentence. Don’t even think of not being on good behavior. You may find that 18 months growing a bit. And you are aware that you typically are on parole for years after you get out? "Additionally I'd have to hire a poor lawyer to defend me, so that I couldn't plea bargain out of jail time." No, you want a good lawyer, to negotiate a guilty plea in exchange for a promise of being sent to a nicer facility for a longer time. However, if they have you dead to rights, they really don't need to bargain at all, and they may not approve of your plan. You might get sent to a... less desirable place. And a good lawyer will cost you more than it would take to live a spartan life for 18 months. "I'd likely do something like drug-dealing combined with possession of a stolen handgun. Maybe evading police officers if necessary to guarantee a solid (yet limited) set of jailtime. Because it's a misdeamanor, I could easily chalk it up to a "youthful discretion" and likely not even need to report it on job applications." No, anything that would send you to prison creates a serious and permanent criminal history. You have misconceptions about what people are willing to chalk up to “youthful indiscretion” and what you must admit to on applications. "So, since I've chosen drug dealing, I can enjoy the LARGE profits in that market until I'm caught." If you have large profits, why not simply quit the dealing, live sparingly off the profits for the 18 months, and avoid prison? "Since my ultimate goal was to be arrested, there's no worries about being caught drug dealing." Other than destroying others lives, permanent criminal history, loosing the respect of your loved ones, and personal danger, that is. "The only noticable "bad thing" about jail is the limited social interaction with your current relations." Considering only social releations, it's more accurate to say that you loose many of those you have now and replace them with others that you will probably find less desirable. "Since this is a pre-planned jailing, I'd have tons of time to let my friends know my new address at the jailhouse, should they want to "hang out" some time." Of course, they might simply drop the “friend” who obviously does not care who he hurts so long as he gets to mooch off others. If they do visit, the “quality time” won't quite be up to the level of dropping over for pizza and beer. "18 months without sex wouldn't be horrible, as many people (myself included) went 18 years of their adolescence without sex." (An 18 year adolescence - no way. Maybe five.) Perhaps your significant other does not feel the same way. Of course, she is not compelled to abstain, now is she? Desirable companions are another thing you will find more difficult to come by as an ex-con. It's a trust thing. Once you demonstrate you are willing to lie, cheat, steal, and/or betray trust for personal gain, it's harder to get the good ones. "So - in summary: free education, free shelter, free food, make your own schedule, be your own boss, bulk up AND lose weight, become smarter and more creative. what's NOT not to like?" Right! The proof is that you can always pick the ex-cons out of a crowd by their general glow of good health, witty repartee, and air of relaxed fulfillment! They universally express their satisfaction with the experience, and recommend it wholeheartedly! By the way, while prisons offer high school coursework, you'll find accredited college courses in short supply. Even one did offer such work, your plan of not revealing the prison term on job applications sort of falls apart if you list your degree as coming from Folsom Prison, right?