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Originally Posted by JustJess
I have to disagree with Charlatan only because even if you're paying for it, it's still cheating.
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No question. It is definately cheating. The reason I suggest it is because IF you are resolved to find sex outside of your marriage, it is the better way to go.
An affair with another person is not fair to that other person. Emotional attatchments with another person can lead to a more trouble than you started with (it's like the old lady that swallowed a fly...).
If you are happy in all other aspects of your marriage AND you feel you have done everything in your power to solve the issue of sex that lies between you and your partner and you are resolved to find sex outside of your marriage... sex for money is the lesser of two evils.
In the end, it is one step up from masturbation. If a man was used to his wife giving him massages or foot rubs on a regular basis and then she just lost interest in giving them, no one would bat an eye if he started going to a Massage Therapist or a Reflexologist. As soon as the issue of orgasm enters into the calculation it suddenly becomes a "really big issue".
While I respect the reasons why people feel this way (we tend to place a lot of our self worth in how our partners veiw us sexually and if they get sex elsewhere, it appears to diminish us -- have I not read, many posters here say that a relationship is more than just sex? If so, it has to cut both ways) I just don't understand why it has to be this way.
So again... yes it is cheating BUT it is the physical act of sex he craves not the emotional attachment of another lover. He apparently gets this from his wife already.
In an ideal world, a woman who doesn't really want sex with her husband should encorage he man to seek out professional help.