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My uncle is going through much the same thing you are now, BigBen. He tried to bend over backwards to please his wife, but even after 25 years he found he had to throw in the towel.
No one's saying you have to take a great flying leap into the void of divorce--you can take baby steps if you want. Make a list of steps. Check one off every day, every two days, and eventually you'll know where that big red circle on the calendar should be.
This is hard, and none of it's going to be easy, but you have to know we're here for you. Anything you need to talk about, we're here to listen. And I mean that.
Best wishes, BigBen.
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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau
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