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Damn man, that really does suck. I was together with a woman for 5 years that had a dead libido, supposedly due to a sex hangup. Everything else with our relationship was fulfilling: the friendship, the tenderness, the compassion. One morning she comes home after being away all night to tell me that she had finally found passion, but with another man. Just like that, her hangup was fixed. I learned alot from that experience...just a shame it ate 5 years of my life.
I sincerely believe that the only way you'll change things is through a traumatic experience. Someone needs to drop a bomb on your marriage, laser guided to strike at the sex part. I honestly feel that such a bomb would be threat of divorce. She needs to know at the core of her being that you WILL get divorced if something doesn't happen. What you do next is up to you. I suggest you drop the bomb, then leave to stay with friends/family. Take time away to give things perspective. THEN arrange for talks and marriage counseling. Then put your heart into saving the marriage, and stay faithful, for your future sanity's sake. With luck and hard work, things might just turn around.
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