BBtB

Analog I am not going to quote your whole post but I am just going to say, I wish life was as black and white as that... I really do.



Hmmm, Well I have had personal experience with the child welfare system in America and I will say they strongly enforce the take the kids now and ask questions later policy. I had my first born child taken while a day old, from the hospital, and for the record I have no criminal background, not so much as a parking ticket. Also CPS in America fears no lawsuit (They happen but they are notoriously hard to win)
Now from what I have read of this case it is really to complex for any of us to make a firm judement of this man. Sexual predator is to vague a label to simply say that because of that he should not have a child. That and simply because he was charged with something does not mean he did it. The first article never states what his specfic charges where and the second article lists charges as "rape, attempted rape, sodomy and attempted sodomy of two teen-agers". No where in the list of charges is his daughter. All that is said about his daughter is that the AP quoted the New York Parole board of "indicating" he sodmized her. Now I am no lawyer but I believe there is a huge difference between "indicating" someone did something and "charging" them with doing something. Maybe I am naive but I think if the evidence was there why would have jumped at adding that to the list of charges. Also, no where in either article does it say the rape was statutory rape. That is sex, consenual or not, with an underage person. They could have just as easily been two 19 year olds as two 14 year olds. As for the mother, ambiguous references to past drug abuse does not mean much to me. I am an ex drug user and I feel fine. I know a number of current drug user who are productive members of society and yes good parents too. Questions that have to be asked and answered here are, What drugs, Was she selling or just using, How long ago, Is she clean now? In another act of vaguely disparaging these people they threw in her not having her other two children. Why not? Where they taken by CPS? Maybe she just lost them in a custody battle with the father. Maybe he simply makes more money then her, had a better lawyer. I think some of us are under the impression that they were taken by CPS because of her "drug history", but that was never said anywhere.
The real question that needs to be raised at this point is, why does CPS take children from parents to begin with? The answer, of course, is right or wrong they believe the children are in some sort of immediate danger. Is this boy in danger from his parents? Perhaps. My entire above paragraph was about the amount of information that we do not have and how much all those little variables drastically effect this case. However lets just consider the basics. What is the possible harm to the child? What exactly are we afraid will happen to the boy? Because a man raped someone in the past does that mean he will do it again? Does that mean he will possibly sexually molest his child? Or maybe he wont but maybe he will just raise his child in such a way that the boy will be a rapist himself? As for the mother, what of her? It is my impression from the article that the only reason she lost custody was the father (which btw is what happened to me with my daughter for those wondering) . Yes there is some alleged drug history but that certainly is not the center of attention. Yet we since it has been brought up lets ask the same questions about her. Can a past (or even current) drug user raise children? We of course can not answer that question here, drug user and history are every bit as ambiguous terms as sexual offender. The biggest questions here are what drugs and is she clean? As for the other children, all that was ever said is that they are "not in her custody" not that they were taken by CPS for any reason. There are any number of reasons they may not be in her custody. Anywhere from taken by CPS for whatever reason, father has custody or elective adoption. None of these mean she necessarily must be shunned from society or have her child taken.
Being forced to stand in front of a judge and watch as lawyers decide whether or not you should have your child is a terrible and terrifying ordeal, justified or not. Being told when you can see your child and for how long, which is rarely longer then an hour and week and sometimes as little as an hour a month, is simply heartbreaking. I hope for the childs sake the courts do whatever is right. I do not know enough to say what that is. I do know that the foster system in America is deplorable and in the least hopefully their is a suitable next of kin to keep him out of that. My heart goes out to this family and I hope they manage to get through this with their sanity in tact.

(PostScript: For these wondering, through a snafu and the grace of God my daughter is home now. She spent about 2 months in the system and her maternal grandmother who had placement of her screwed up a little. They had an emergency court hearing and decided to give my girlfriend and me "placement" while DHS still holds "custody". Basically she is still considered in the system but is home and this should be past us in another 3 or 4 months. Though had it not been for the mess up we were told we wouldn't have been considered for placement for another 6 months.)

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Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ...

"I would like about three fiddy"