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Originally Posted by kangaeru
Also, I semi-agree with ratbastid's post...I don't believe in the 100-0 thing. You have to be willing to give 100 percent, but so does the other person. It can't be all about you expending your energy ALL the time. Sometimes you will have to give more than the other person but...it's yin and yang, it needs to equal out in the end. At least that's the truth for me, I know I would never want to be in a 100-0 relationship.
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This is pretty off-topic, but what the hell.
The problem with "I'll be 100% responsible, create a 100-0 relationship with you from my end, but you've got to do the same" is that it's NOT 100% responsible. That's like, "l'll be 100% responsible, as long as you pony up your part," which is another name for 50-50, which never works. I know for me, I mostly have to see evidence of their 100 before I'll put my 100 on the table. It's always a total train wreck when I do that.
By some non-linear miracle of the universe, when you're really, honestly 100-0 in a relationship, and really truly, authentically expecting NOTHING back, no desires or sense of entitlement or deserving, what you get back from the other person is everything you could ever want or dream of. You can pretty much take that to the bank.
Now, the bad news is, you can't be 100-0 in HOPES that you'll get back what you want, or IN ORDER TO get back what you want. This isn't a trick or technique. That'd be manipulation. At best it would be like 99-1, which also doesn't work. That 1% will work on you and eat away at you until you're 1% resentful and furious. And we all know how that tends to go.
Nope, 100-0. Completely, unconditionally. The other name for that (in case you hadn't picked up on it yet) is
love. Anything else is deal-making, not love.