Dialogue
Yeah, authentic dialogue is definately the most difficult part about the writing. One of the reasons that I think the dialogue with the mother runs together is that it flows very quickly between actual speaking and narrator comments. And it doesnt come out of the narrator comments mentioning who is talking. That may be one symptom. I encourage you to read the rest and let me know if the dialogue becomes any more distinct.
I have once again revised the story. It helps resolve a little more motive for the ending, as well as cleaning up some of the dialogue.
Any comments are good comments!
|