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Raeanna-
Your doubts are well founded. There is no God, no heaven or hell. Jesus wasn't a savior. Those purporting to be Christian have long ago (1700 years) disregarded all of his basic teachings. 50 years after your death, no one will have the slightest memory of you. We'd all be a lot better off living our lives like the finite quantities they are instead of preparing for some farcical afterlife. Your problems with your husbands church congregation have nothing to do the existance of a higher power, or even the belief in a god-boogeyman you may have once shared with them. Humans for the most part are selfish uncaring creatures. We've developed a sophisticated system of protections and laws regarding only the basic relationships we're expected to uphold: parent-child, marriage partners, etc. Beyond that you can expect everyone to let you down. Trust your doubts, grow from them, experience life fully.
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