Lebell's cite of forsakeness is a good one, and since you (raeaenna) were raised a strict Baptist, you probably know about Job. Think of it this way, if you had two assistants, one was okay. Gave a good day's work. The other excelled far beyond your wildest dreams. You had to leave our business to one but you want to make absolutely sure they can handle it, who would you test?
I think it's the venue of faith that those who really want to believe will be tested. A big haired hymnbot will not. It's the essence of faith to be tested. If you haven't thought about abandoning your faith, then you really don't have faith. Here's a short list of those who felt they had been abandoned by God: Adam; Eve; Cain; Abram; Job; Moses; JESUS.
"Rock" solid faith is an oxymoron.
As for your church family, the best parable I can relate to that situation is the one that people commonly misconceive is about money. Trying to trip Jesus up, a pharisee asked him about the new Roman law of paying taxes. Jesus asked to see a coin, gave it back, and asked whose image was on the coin. The pharisee of course said it was the Cesear. You probably know the rest. Give to Cesear what belongs to Cesear. What isn't understood about that is that the answer the pharisee should have given about the image was that it was God's image, made man. They couldn't differentiate between their purse and their heart.
The lesson from that is to give the petty things and people in life their petty due. Give your financial burdens their just due (as you have, congrats!), Give your career the importance a career needs. Give your family the rewards you harvest from it, and give those things that you believe are the best, most loved things in life, your heart and soul.
You've been through quite a test, and you've battled back. It's really impressive. I think you'll find your faith much stronger when you figure out how you want to practice it.
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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
Last edited by Poppinjay; 10-18-2005 at 08:40 AM..
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