I am truely offended by the first statment. I don't mean people who have sex before marriage... just those who can't understand people like me, and my choice not to have sex until i am married. I am a 24 y.o. virgin, yes. I said it. It is not embarrasing. In fact, i doubt any of you who have not also made this choice could hold out for so long.
I decided I wanted my first time to be special, with the person I am destined to be with forever. (I know I am a romantic sometimes). When I met my fiance, we both agreed we wanted to wait until marriage. There are many reasons for this. The strongest is that we do not want an "accident" and end up with a child before we are ready.
I am perfectly happy not having sex, but that does not mean that I don't want to. I must admit, everytime we make out, I want to go further and take the plunge, but I hold back and resist. She says that she also feel the urge at times. (I'm not totally sure since we are both still new at this, but I think I might have made her have a small orgasm when we make out sometimes without any serious touching). We have discussed this and don't find any advantage in having sex now, we might as well just waiting till our wedding.
Now I don't care if other ppl have sex, it's just that i don't like ppl who can't understand those who Choose not to. This does not mean I'm "asexual" either (no interest in sex). I know a lot of ppl who find it amazing that we can resist having sex, especially when they see how into each other we are. We are almost always together and we used to makeout in public... thank god we got over that :P.
And there is another thing... we are still warry about the side-effects of most birthcontrol products. The pills can cause stroke, blood clot, heart attacks.... in other words... 3 different kinds of painful death. Just for a little sex. And condoms can be awkward and only 95% effective. That last 5%, even when used properly, still exists and means pregnancy. Still looking into contraceptive devices....
It has been hard actually... I am trying to set up a life for us before we get married, and it involves the marriage, moving out and in together, possibly moving to another state (too expensive here), finding work, finding a grad school, etc... Kids don't enter into this yet.
As for sexual incompatability... I've read many things saying it is really only in your head and doesn't really exist, and others that say marriages fail due to this. I think that if a marriage is based only off sex, then you should not get married, it is bound to end when your drive ends. Communication and willingness to experiment and such with your partner should be able to overcome any "incompatibility" issues.
Some people say that if we don't have sex, we should do other things that don't involve penetration. But I say, we want to experiment on that stuff when we are ready, and when we know we can go all the way. Why tempt yourself like that... we might fail to resist for once and have a kid. Besides, anticipation is a great thing. It's like Christmas.... waiting and counting down to the day you can open the presents under the tree, you;ve counted them all up and kow the weight and size and rattling noises they make, then you finally get to open it. Knowing that we have only so many months/weeks away till we can indulge is really exciting.
I guess we're weird this way. We do talk about sex and even do some research (you can learn alot of things school doesn't teach you). We look forward to out first night of passion together, especially with all the ideas we find online
