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When I had to put down my beloved lab who I had for over 15 years, I took him to the vet he always knew since a pup, it cost me $40. I paid extra to have his ashes saved for me which I still have, other than a bit I sprinkled here and there at some of his favorite spots.
I hope you can deal with it reasonably well, it's tough loosing a pet you love.
I'm glad I did this, but when it was time, I held him tightly with my arms wrapped around his neck and kissing his head, whispering into his ear, the doc gave him the shot and he sort of passed out/fell asleep and that was the end. I cried, the vet cried but I'm glad I did it that way.
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