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sexymama · 10-16-2005, 11:33 AM

brian, your daughter has just entered the seperation anxiety stage. It is funny because babies will be away from mom from an early age on, and still go through this stage. It is not personal. It is just that your daughter now realizes that mommy (and daddy) exist when they are not in sight as well as when they are. She'll get past it. A few things to help is for mom (and you) to always say goodbye when leaving and hello when returning. Sometimes it seems easier to sneak out of the house -- but that is bad for the child. Also, when saying goodbye, keep it upbeat. "Mommy is leaving for work now. I'll be home in a few hours. Have fun with daddy!" When she gets home, "Mommy is home from work." Pretty soon your daughter will see the pattern and feel more secure.

As for ways to discipline at this age, I suggest the two yeses for every no technique. "Sweetheart, you may not hit the cat. You may pet the cat or look at the cat." "We do not bite people. You may bite a rag or a carrot." The other technique that works well is simple distraction (otherwise known as redirecting.) Rather than focusing on what your daughter may not do, engage her in what she can do. Also, you may consider (if you haven't already) getting down at your daughter's level and looking around. What looks tempting and/or interesting. Remember, she is just learning about the world, so if it is at eye level, it is tempting. Move what you need to and make everything possible safe and accessible.

FYI - she is in the "little scientist" phase. So, she is not trying to be naughty by touching your things. She is just curious to see if every time she "flips the switch, the light comes on." By allowing her to explore, you are teaching her it is okay to learn and be curious. This stage can be a lot of fun -- enjoy!

10-16-2005, 11:33 AM	#36 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	brian, your daughter has just entered the seperation anxiety stage. It is funny because babies will be away from mom from an early age on, and still go through this stage. It is not personal. It is just that your daughter now realizes that mommy (and daddy) exist when they are not in sight as well as when they are. She'll get past it. A few things to help is for mom (and you) to always say goodbye when leaving and hello when returning. Sometimes it seems easier to sneak out of the house -- but that is bad for the child. Also, when saying goodbye, keep it upbeat. "Mommy is leaving for work now. I'll be home in a few hours. Have fun with daddy!" When she gets home, "Mommy is home from work." Pretty soon your daughter will see the pattern and feel more secure. As for ways to discipline at this age, I suggest the two yeses for every no technique. "Sweetheart, you may not hit the cat. You may pet the cat or look at the cat." "We do not bite people. You may bite a rag or a carrot." The other technique that works well is simple distraction (otherwise known as redirecting.) Rather than focusing on what your daughter may not do, engage her in what she can do. Also, you may consider (if you haven't already) getting down at your daughter's level and looking around. What looks tempting and/or interesting. Remember, she is just learning about the world, so if it is at eye level, it is tempting. Move what you need to and make everything possible safe and accessible. FYI - she is in the "little scientist" phase. So, she is not trying to be naughty by touching your things. She is just curious to see if every time she "flips the switch, the light comes on." By allowing her to explore, you are teaching her it is okay to learn and be curious. This stage can be a lot of fun -- enjoy! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.