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raeanna74 · 10-07-2005, 11:58 AM

I am debating on how to handle Thanksgiving this year. I know I'm two months early BUT it's gonna take some planning to avoid a family fued this year due to a recent separation between my brother and SIL. To give you a brief background.

Last year my guest list included both sets of our parents (we've not had any divorces so far) and our siblings (two of them) and a couple who is like family to us. Since then my brother and his wife have separated, it's been a bit ugly and the tension when they are in the same building together is so thick that everyone is on edge the entire time. I cannot have that in my own for Thanksgiving. The big problem is - SIL has turned into my Dad's golden girl and any negative comment about her is met with severe disapproval and arguement. So if I don't invite her I'm afraid my Dad WILL. I don't want to be forced to tell her she cannot come. I WANT my brother to be there and I doubt highly that he will come if she is. She's stalked him and is verbally abusive toward him.

I plan to talk to my brother about it and see how he would LIKE things to be handled on his behalf. If he tells me to go ahead and invite her and he will come I know he's capable of controlling himself. BUT I personally would prefer NOT inviting her. HOW can I have my family over for Thanksgiving without inviting my SIL and without pissing off my Dad?? Any way you can think of saying things that would keep my Dad from flipping out? I can't imagine what or how to say anything. Now if she were to show up as a result of Dad going behind my back I would likely treat her politely and deal with it. I would not hesitate, and I know hubby wouldn't either, to ask her to leave if she should fall into her loud mouthed whining about my brother or fighting with him if he were to come.

I know this is early but I want to be prepared. We technically have not asked anyone yet but last year the last few words of most of the family as they left were that they were looking forward to next Thanksgiving here. I started a couple things last year too that I want to continue as family traditions. I would not mind, would in fact enjoy, having family here. How to handle the new situation will be the tricky part.

10-07-2005, 11:58 AM	#1 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Thanksgiving Guest List - Early planning I am debating on how to handle Thanksgiving this year. I know I'm two months early BUT it's gonna take some planning to avoid a family fued this year due to a recent separation between my brother and SIL. To give you a brief background. Last year my guest list included both sets of our parents (we've not had any divorces so far) and our siblings (two of them) and a couple who is like family to us. Since then my brother and his wife have separated, it's been a bit ugly and the tension when they are in the same building together is so thick that everyone is on edge the entire time. I cannot have that in my own for Thanksgiving. The big problem is - SIL has turned into my Dad's golden girl and any negative comment about her is met with severe disapproval and arguement. So if I don't invite her I'm afraid my Dad WILL. I don't want to be forced to tell her she cannot come. I WANT my brother to be there and I doubt highly that he will come if she is. She's stalked him and is verbally abusive toward him. I plan to talk to my brother about it and see how he would LIKE things to be handled on his behalf. If he tells me to go ahead and invite her and he will come I know he's capable of controlling himself. BUT I personally would prefer NOT inviting her. HOW can I have my family over for Thanksgiving without inviting my SIL and without pissing off my Dad?? Any way you can think of saying things that would keep my Dad from flipping out? I can't imagine what or how to say anything. Now if she were to show up as a result of Dad going behind my back I would likely treat her politely and deal with it. I would not hesitate, and I know hubby wouldn't either, to ask her to leave if she should fall into her loud mouthed whining about my brother or fighting with him if he were to come. I know this is early but I want to be prepared. We technically have not asked anyone yet but last year the last few words of most of the family as they left were that they were looking forward to next Thanksgiving here. I started a couple things last year too that I want to continue as family traditions. I would not mind, would in fact enjoy, having family here. How to handle the new situation will be the tricky part. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.