Mate - I can sympathize. Should problems are a hassle. I've only had a few mild issues/tears, but they take heaps of work to get right.
My short suggestion (and be warned, I'm not a doc. do check with a specialist first if possible) is that you might want to start with light exercises at home. There're a lot of things that you can do with light dumbells that potentially assist with the stability and capabilities of your shoulders, while at the same time building muscle.
A home barbell set is fairly cheap (you might need to buy extra weights). You'll probably only need very light weights ie 1-3kg for shoulder rehab stuff also.
I'd try to see a sports physiotherapist (physical therapist in US?) if you can, but there're big differences in their capabilities/skill I find also. Oh.. get some rubber tubing from them. This can be useful for shoulder rehab work. Apart from that, a good general rule is
- start with basic shoulder exercises, hands below shoulder level
- look up rotator cuff, it seems that these muscles degenerate quickly and can
compensate somewhat for injury/problems in the joint itself
- don't do anything which causes you serious or lasting pain
A good book that I found useful was "Stronger Arms and Upper Body" by Sean Cochran and Tom House. It has interesting diverse rehabilitation exercises... probably oriented towards US ball sports (baseball etc) and helped me greatly.
If you do get it, don't do all exercises at once!! Try one or two. See how you recover. Try a few more etc. Stay with light weights until you have confidence in your shoulder joint. Try to "think" the joint into it's correct position with each exercise - that helps me I think because I know that one of my shoulders is sloppy.
It might take a while before you can do traditional weight training exercises. But.. if you using dumbells at home, who will know? You'll feel stronger around the shoulders anyway even after simple rehabilitation moves. By the time you start in the gym you'll be a bit more confident and ready to build bulk.
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