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Drider_it,
I'd like to make a suggestion... I'm sure your friend's wife knows you feel deeply for him and his family. Don't think too deeply about what you need to SAY, but instead about what you can DO. If there are things that need to be done that your friend didn't complete (buying or chopping that cord of wood for winter, cleaning the grill, closing the pool etc.), do it. Don't ask what you can do, just let her know you're there to do it, and unless she really doesn't want you to do it, then do it. You know, don't take over or be pushy about it, but identify where help is needed and help out. Ask his wife and son to spend the night so your family can pamper them a bit.
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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet
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