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Poppinjay · 10-04-2005, 04:32 AM

Tim2Shady,

I got married at about the same age you did. I don't think there's much different between you and me and any other guy. This past weekend, I had a hottie hit on me not once, but twice, and she made it clear that her friend did EVERYTHING with her.

It was fun to think about, but it's all squishy and warm on the inside. In the end, I prefer someone I can talk to day in and day out.

If you truly want your marriage to work, man up. Romance and do all those things with your wife that you want to do to the girls. If your sex life (as a couple) is a problem, then seek counseling, but if she's willing as often as you are, you shouldn't even have time to pursue other encounters. In short, forge a MATURE sexual relationship with your wife before you go hunting down the other 31 flavors. She may want to hunt with you. She may not. But by circumventing the growth of your partnership, you're denying her this chance.

As far as what Daoust has posted, I will say that Tim2Shady is wrong and I have no problem with anybody slamming me for that. You're not wrong because you want to have sex a whole bunch, with different people, you are wrong because you submitted to a social contract without making clear and honest your desires. You fell to the pressure of society to get married, but not the pressure to stick to the agreed bounds of that marriage. Funny, that. If you had married, with her knowing you wanted an open marriage and now she was balking, then I would say she was wrong.

If you're convinced that being sexually untethered is more important than being married, I'd suggest you come clean ASAP and resolve this issue with the person you love. Your 30's is a good time to be single, nobody really keeps up the bullshit pretentions of the 20's. Otherwise, start the repair work and figure out that your desires are pretty common. Deal with it.

10-04-2005, 04:32 AM	#42 (permalink)
Poppinjay You had me at hello Location: DC/Coastal VA	Tim2Shady, I got married at about the same age you did. I don't think there's much different between you and me and any other guy. This past weekend, I had a hottie hit on me not once, but twice, and she made it clear that her friend did EVERYTHING with her. It was fun to think about, but it's all squishy and warm on the inside. In the end, I prefer someone I can talk to day in and day out. If you truly want your marriage to work, man up. Romance and do all those things with your wife that you want to do to the girls. If your sex life (as a couple) is a problem, then seek counseling, but if she's willing as often as you are, you shouldn't even have time to pursue other encounters. In short, forge a MATURE sexual relationship with your wife before you go hunting down the other 31 flavors. She may want to hunt with you. She may not. But by circumventing the growth of your partnership, you're denying her this chance. As far as what Daoust has posted, I will say that Tim2Shady is wrong and I have no problem with anybody slamming me for that. You're not wrong because you want to have sex a whole bunch, with different people, you are wrong because you submitted to a social contract without making clear and honest your desires. You fell to the pressure of society to get married, but not the pressure to stick to the agreed bounds of that marriage. Funny, that. If you had married, with her knowing you wanted an open marriage and now she was balking, then I would say she was wrong. If you're convinced that being sexually untethered is more important than being married, I'd suggest you come clean ASAP and resolve this issue with the person you love. Your 30's is a good time to be single, nobody really keeps up the bullshit pretentions of the 20's. Otherwise, start the repair work and figure out that your desires are pretty common. Deal with it. __________________ I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet