Drider_it

As some know im a "Jesus freak" and all. I just had a close friend die in a wreck yesterday. He pulled out infront of a big truck and hit it head on so to speak. Yet in the end, i'll find my self standing infront of his wife and son.

How in the hell am i to find the words to express the hurt and loss they feel? short answer, I cant. noone can.

I would love to say his death isnt meaningless. He give his live to God. He lived every moment i knew him, for Him. Yet, God dosent promise us a safe life. Accidents happen. yet anything i say no matter how good or ill it sounds cant compare to the heart ripping that has been done to them.

yet she goes on without her husband, and the son loses the only person in his life he called dad. as a husband and father of 3, its a sobering time in my life.

I sit here and wonder how would my wife and kids make it without me? would i be remembered. the answer is yes everyone moves on. but the hurt takes time to heal if ever.

one positive side is our church community. we are there for them. so in some what small way, they aren't alone.

they will have his body back from the state autopsy by tomorrow (louisiana state law is standard in this on accidents on certian roads) Heck of a way to wake up in the morning being told this. I'm just sitting here watching my kids sleep, before getting my daughter up for school.

its funny before i had kids, i never thought of dying. I was gonna live forever and all my friends and family. When someone died I just passed it off as life. but in the last 10 years ive seen some good friends and loved ones go on. Life seems depressing at times.

one thing I gotta say. its ok to cry. you have tear ducts for a reason. one thing i always thought was good about a human being. they can express grief in many ways.

Its the son i feel the most for. he's around 10 or so. my oldest is 8 and im his best friend in the whole world. mom's are great but dads make the whole world a better place.

man this sucks.

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It means only one thing, and everything: Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides that one. Cut. The lines are a portrayal of the dance. Cut from the void, not from bewilderment. Cut the enemy as quickly and directly as possible. Cut with certainty. Cut decisively, resoultely. Cut into his strength. Flow through the gaps in his guard. Cut him. Cut him down utterly. Don't allow him a breath. Crush him. Cut him without mercy to the depth of his spirit. It is the balance to life: death. It is the dance with death. It is the law a war wizard lives by, or he dies.