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Originally Posted by analog
Yeah. Or you could've miscarried it, it could've been born with horrible defects, monkeys could have flown out of its ass at 1 year, you keep the kid rather than aborting and she kills the baby in a fit of post-partum insanity....
The point is, anything could happen. There's no way of knowing exactly what "would have been", so it's stupid and pointless to question otherwise. For her, the person actually enduring the stress, it should signal an immediate need for counseling. If not corrected early, it could fester and destroy your relationship. As it is, you're getting the "you're not as upset as I am, and therefore you just don't care, or it bothers me that you're not as upset as i am" treatment from her. This is similar to the feeling that breaks apart couples when they lose an actual child.
Get her to counseling, or it will continue for a long time, and will likely directly contribute to the end of your relationship.
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Even with counseling most relationships end after an abortion decision.The reason ? because on some level the couple decided that they were not ready to commit to each other strongly enough to bring the child into the world.Any way you slice or dice it, or try to rationalize it
there it is in a nutshell.Pain,grief and guilt is usually what keeps such couples together for a few weeks or maybe months afterwards but the reality eventually sinks in to the point that it cannot be denied anymore.