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Poppinjay was severely burned by the delicious fruit filling of a breakfast toaster treat. He accidentally rubbed the hot pastry against his genitals, and is now suing the manufacturer for not making the warning label big enough.
Even the horrible and disfiguring genital scarring has not stopped his compulsive habit. His lawyer doubts he will win at trial if Poppinjay's actions are admitted as evidence.
Seriously man, take whatever settlement you can get...
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3.141592654
Hey, if you are impressed with my memorizing pi to 10 digits, you should see the size of my penis.
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