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Yeah. Or you could've miscarried it, it could've been born with horrible defects, monkeys could have flown out of its ass at 1 year, you keep the kid rather than aborting and she kills the baby in a fit of post-partum insanity....
The point is, anything could happen. There's no way of knowing exactly what "would have been", so it's stupid and pointless to question otherwise. For her, the person actually enduring the stress, it should signal an immediate need for counseling. If not corrected early, it could fester and destroy your relationship. As it is, you're getting the "you're not as upset as I am, and therefore you just don't care, or it bothers me that you're not as upset as i am" treatment from her. This is similar to the feeling that breaks apart couples when they lose an actual child.
Get her to counseling, or it will continue for a long time, and will likely directly contribute to the end of your relationship.
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