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Originally Posted by Martian
Nobody can lay out a script for you, if you really want to know where the night's going to go you'll need to gauge the mood and trust your judgement. -snip- Lend a sympathetic ear but don't be a non-participant in the conversation. Note that being a participant means more than agreeing with her periodically. You have to contribute, or she'll think you're not interested in what she's saying and, by extension, not interested in her. Not the idea you want to convey.
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These are two very good pieces of advice for you, man. I think you need to relax yourself before you can help her relax!!
And I'm sorry to beat a dead horse (at this point in the thread), but maintain good conversational skills! Martian knows what he's talking about... must've been dealing with women for a long time.
For many women, conversation is a form of sex, and definitely of foreplay (I know you don't intend to go there, but just an FYI). At the very least, the way you go about it will demonstrate your level of attention for her.