Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Acetylene
Well, for starters, get your birth control working right. Double up so your risk is infinitesmally small--use condoms AND the pill, for example. DON'T LET THIS HAPPEN AGAIN.
|
Trust me - I won't.
She was on the pill at the time (still is), so we were pretty surprised.
I now use condoms as well.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by pigglet
Playing off some of the earlier comments - is it correct to state that when she makes a comment about the abortion, you clam up...and when you bring it up "formerly" she doesn't want to talk about it?
|
No, I never bring it up out of the blue. She just makes those random comments. When she does, I don't know what her point is or how she's feeling emotionally. I typically say something like "do you think about that alot?", to which she starts to weave her way out of the conversation (drop the topic). Some times I have tried to push for discussion saying "there must be a problem if you keep bringing it up" to which she denies, even becoming aggressive in tone, and it just ends up becoming depressing - like we had a fight.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by Poppinjay
... take this opportunity to think about the future with this particular woman. Do you want to create a situation where having a child will be the right thing?
... but your GF may be looking for some kind of feedback about what the future holds for this relationship, and it sounds like she wants babies.
|
I've had a few relationships (so has she) & I do honestly believe that she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I've indicated that, and I think she knows I mean it, however -
it can be incredibly difficult getting her to open up when something bothers her. The guessing game happens alot. It creates alot of strain, & I feel like it's the one thing that could destroy us... and to be honest, I doubt I'd try to have another relationship after this.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by abaya
...but most guys know that when a woman says something like this (dismissing her own feelings), she means EXACTLY the opposite. If she says "Fine..." about something that's obviously bothering her, CALL HER ON IT and don't let her do anything until she talks it all out. For women, this form of reply is BAIT for conversation, and if you don't bite, she's gonna internalize it and start to resent you. With comments like that, she's asking for recognition and wondering whether or not you even care to listen and ask questions about that topic.
|
Yeah, as mentioned above in response to Pigglet, I've tried to get her to talk to no avail.
Quote:
|
Originally Posted by abaya
How did she conceive in the first place? Do you think she wanted a child, even a little bit, originally? Was it a 100% mutual decision to terminate the pregnancy, or did she waver even a little bit? Let's say she'd had to make the decision completely on her own, without your input: would she have done the same thing?
|
The pill failed (most likely) because one night she was ill & threw up, and unfortunately forgot to be cautious after that.
My stance on the abortion was that I'd support her decision either way, 100%. She, from the word go wanted the abortion. It simply was too early in our relationship & too much of a financial challenge (if a possibility at all)... to which I agreed. We were even living interstate from each other at the time. If we were filthy rich, I can almost gaurantee we would have moved in together (even though it was early in our relationship), and had the baby.
Hey, thanks everyone for your replies btw.