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Originally Posted by apolian
Everytime I attempt to get her to have a proper discussion on the topic I get "it's fine, I shouldn't have mentioned it"...
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Well, I don't know how long you've been together, but most guys know that when a woman says something like this (dismissing her own feelings), she means EXACTLY the opposite. If she says "Fine..." about something that's obviously bothering her, CALL HER ON IT and don't let her do anything until she talks it all out. For women, this form of reply is BAIT for conversation, and if you don't bite, she's gonna internalize it and start to resent you. With comments like that, she's asking for recognition and wondering whether or not you even care to listen and ask questions about that topic.
How did she conceive in the first place? Do you think she wanted a child, even a little bit, originally? Was it a 100% mutual decision to terminate the pregnancy, or did she waver even a little bit? Let's say she'd had to make the decision completely on her own, without your input: would she have done the same thing?
And I second... third?... the double-prevention stuff. For me and ktspktsp, I'm on the Ring AND we use condoms. As a result, I have absolutely no worries about getting pregnant. I mean, there are very small chances, but taking these precautions has made both of us feel much more secure about having sex when we're not ready for a kid (and I would never be ready for an abortion, so I'm taking all steps short of abstinence to ensure that doesn't happen).