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Originally Posted by Sultana
I saw many young couples in college form unholy alliences (bad marriages) in part because they were "burning with desire", and that was the only way to get any. I have to say that I think it's better to deal with the potential regret of a bad lay than legally bind yourself to someone for "morally acceptable" sex.
On the other hand, I'm sure that stance saved more than a few immature but sexually desireous youngsters from unwanted pregnancies, STDs, etc.
It's a bit extreme, though.
I guess overall I would just hope that folks are making their own decisions about this area, rather than just going with what someone else decided for them...
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Sultana, I agree with you on all three points. I grew up in a thoroughly pluralistic/agnostic home, and only became a die-hard evangelical in my teen years... also went to an evang. university and saw the same things you did.
But I don't think people consciously got married to have sex... it was more to (unconsciously) save themselves from the guilt of having any kind of lay (bad or good) outside of marriage. Guilt is a nasty monster to deal with, and I think most people would rather feel pure and holy than just plain human. I did, for a long time, until I realized guilt has nothing to do with God and everything to do with religious socialization.
But yeah, saving sex until adulthood definitely saved me from unwanted pregnancies, STD's, emotional stress from having sex when I was too immature or with someone who would've hurt me... so I can't say what's better. It comes down to the individual's choice. If someone is 40 years old and deciding to be a virgin because he/she just never felt right about it with anyone, well, that's cool with me. If they're a virgin because of some ideology, that's not cool.
I'm glad I did what I did, and that in the end, I chose to have sex with someone in a long-term relationship. I don't think one has to wait till marriage, but at least be emotionally mature and ready to handle unexpected pregnancies, break-ups, etc.