|
analog...i think i understand the point that you're making. i don't think sex is immaterial to the orientation involved in a sexual encounter. and i can think of deception regarding that, that would make an encounter non-consensual. i think we've all heard jokes that have the punchline: "that's not my finger." I won't say more...
But the flip side of that is that gender is, imo, more material in determining the orientation of an encounter. and that's what i've been saying here. not to be crude, but a mouth is a mouth...an ass is an ass. What they mean to us is usually a product of our gender, orientation, and identity. a lot of (straight) boys don't even think about their ass, for instance. They don't think of it as sexual, never focus sexual play in that area, and certainly they don't dress to highlight it. Their aesthetic doesn't see the male ass as sexual or beautiful. The female ass, however...straight men see as total object of fascination. To them, it's totally different. Go figure. But after a wax job and a few workouts? I'm just saying...
I should be serious for a moment. Honestly, the way this all happened is distrurbing to me. The idea of having an encounter so removed from the context of a relationship that this kind of disclosure and intimacy would not have taken place...it's confusing to me. And as far as choice of partners...
Nobody doubts that this was a situation that in part, Gwen got herself into. We can rightly take this as guidance that should impress upon us the critical need for evaluating potential partners, and providing safe spaces for talking about issues like gender and sex. But the very bright big line that i want to be very clear about not crossing is marking this down as Gwen's fault in such a way that deminishs the criminal responsbility of the perpertrators. We've all been 17, we've all made poor choices about relationships, though maybe not these ones. We didn't deserve to die for them, and neither did she.
__________________
For God so loved creation, that God sent God's only Son that whosoever believed should not perish, but have everlasting life.
-John 3:16
|