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Originally Posted by Ustwo
And if a very pretty straight man were to hit on you pretending he was a woman and went down on you?
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Well, gee, that's not quite the same thing as what I was talking about, now is it? Perhaps you should revisit your last post and the straw man fallacy listed there.
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Or perhaps if I went up to your SO and said something about the 'ugly bulldyke cunt' she was with?
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Was that really necessary? Couldn't you have proposed a hypothetical that wasn't in the form of your taking a nasty personal shot at me?
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Everyone has their point where the shock of the insult, the level it, and the amount of disrespect will result in a violent (and justified) response. If I know someone is trying to provoke me, its easy to let the logical part of your brain absorb the insult, but the violent response comes more from the suddeness of the attack, much as if you were attacked physically and the response is the same.
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I'd say
most people can be provoked through words alone, but not all, and a violent response to offensive language is never justified.
A physically aggressive response is appropriate to a physical attack, to the degree that's necessary to end the threat. A verbal response is appropriate to a verbal attack, or, more often, ignoring it and sometimes walking away, which is the approach Grace and I take to such personal insults, which occur on an infrequent, but regular basis.
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Luckily for us, such insults are rather rare and we are not often forced to face our reactions to them, but when they do occur who do you blame for the resulting violence?
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I would blame whoever initiates the violence.
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Oh and a side note, I’ve seen first hand what happens when a straight male hits on (or in one case even spoke to) a lesbian who has a more masculine partner. My poor room mate in college had a bad habit of accidentally doing this. 
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She politely asks the man to leave? That's what happens when a guy hits on me in Grace's presense.
Gilda