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There are two basic levels of violence, interpersonal, and that which is sanctioned and sponsored by society in some form. Societal sanctioned violence is a much stickier subject, so I'll just weigh in on interpersonal.
Interpersonal violence is justified only in defense of one's person or that of another, and to a much lesser extent, one's property.
Words, messages, beliefs by themselves, in the absense of a physical threat, never justify violence in retaliation, no matter how offensive they might be.
That you have offended or insulted me or hurt my feelings, or done the same to someone I love does not justify the smallest bit of violence on my part in return, unless there is an active threat of violence that goes along with it.
The reason is that what offends us differs greatly from person to person. If a man hits on me, he's implicitly questioning my sexuality by suggesting he thinks I'm straight. So long as he's polite and doesn't put his hands on me, I likely wouldn't be offended. Heck, I actually find it a bit amusing much of the time. Yet some find a challenge to their sexuality so offensive that they respond violently, even to the point of murder.
Which is the right response to someone challenging your sexuality, amusement or offense? Neither, though the former does make life quite a bit more pleasant. What amuses or offends us is a highly personal part of our makeup, and because of that there is no way to define exactly what is or isn't something that is offensive enough to justify violence. Which is why no words ever are.
Gilda
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I'm against ending blackness. I believe that everyone has a right to be black, it's a choice, and I support that.
~Steven Colbert
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