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guthmund · 09-16-2005, 08:28 AM

Okay, I got a couple of more...

The first one involves a little acting..

Q- "What's this?" *Hold your palm up to your face and pretend to bite through.
A- Jesus biting his nails

Let's not leave Dad out..

Why did God make homosexuality a sin?
- Because his boyfriend thought it was sooooo hot

And a priest joke..

Father Bob had spent the last 47 years as a priest in the confession. He had heard it all and doled out 'our fathers' and 'hail marys' in a just and fair fashion to nearly every member of his little town. And that's the way it was...

Until one day when Father John got the call. Father Bob had overdone it the day before working in the garden and wouldn't be able to hear confession. Nervous Father John had been appointed to take his place, but not to worry, Father Bob had a cheat card listing all the usual sins and the pennance he proscribed. Father John had nothing to worry about.

Most of the day went by uneventful. He heard tons of the usual stuff: I hate my father, I slapped my child, I thought nasty thoughts about my neighbor's wife. In each case, Father John pulled up the crib sheet, followed the mess of lines and doled out the requisite punishment.

Around lunchtime, Loni Feist sat down in confession with something startling to share. "Father," she said, "Last night, I was with a man other than my husband. We had dinner, he took me home and out in the car, just to pay him for his kindness, I gave him a blowjob."

"Jesus, Mary-Mother-of-God!" cried Father John.

"Listen, Father, I knew it was wrong and I shouldn't have done it, but the way I figure, I saved myself a bit of sin, seeing as how I didn't actually have sex with him."

Father John certainly seen the logic in the argument and began frantically searching the crib sheet for help. When none was found, he quickly excused himself and ran off into the church in search of Father Bob.

Father Bob wasn't in his room, he wasn't in the garden, he wasn't in the restroom, the kitchen or anywhere else in the rectory that Father John could see. At his wit's end, Father John ran across big Mike, the gardener, as he was carefully putting away the garden hose.

"Quick, Mikey. You know Father Bob pretty well and have been here a while. Tell me, what does Father Bob give for a 'blow job?'"

"Usually it's just a Coke," Mike said earnestly, "but sometimes I get a candy bar, too."

09-16-2005, 08:28 AM	#20 (permalink)
guthmund big damn hero	Okay, I got a couple of more... The first one involves a little acting.. Q- "What's this?" Hold your palm up to your face and pretend to bite through. A- Jesus biting his nails Let's not leave Dad out.. Why did God make homosexuality a sin? - Because his boyfriend thought it was sooooo hot* And a priest joke.. Father Bob had spent the last 47 years as a priest in the confession. He had heard it all and doled out 'our fathers' and 'hail marys' in a just and fair fashion to nearly every member of his little town. And that's the way it was... Until one day when Father John got the call. Father Bob had overdone it the day before working in the garden and wouldn't be able to hear confession. Nervous Father John had been appointed to take his place, but not to worry, Father Bob had a cheat card listing all the usual sins and the pennance he proscribed. Father John had nothing to worry about. Most of the day went by uneventful. He heard tons of the usual stuff: I hate my father, I slapped my child, I thought nasty thoughts about my neighbor's wife. In each case, Father John pulled up the crib sheet, followed the mess of lines and doled out the requisite punishment. Around lunchtime, Loni Feist sat down in confession with something startling to share. "Father," she said, "Last night, I was with a man other than my husband. We had dinner, he took me home and out in the car, just to pay him for his kindness, I gave him a blowjob." "Jesus, Mary-Mother-of-God!" cried Father John. "Listen, Father, I knew it was wrong and I shouldn't have done it, but the way I figure, I saved myself a bit of sin, seeing as how I didn't actually have sex with him." Father John certainly seen the logic in the argument and began frantically searching the crib sheet for help. When none was found, he quickly excused himself and ran off into the church in search of Father Bob. Father Bob wasn't in his room, he wasn't in the garden, he wasn't in the restroom, the kitchen or anywhere else in the rectory that Father John could see. At his wit's end, Father John ran across big Mike, the gardener, as he was carefully putting away the garden hose. "Quick, Mikey. You know Father Bob pretty well and have been here a while. Tell me, what does Father Bob give for a 'blow job?'" "Usually it's just a Coke," Mike said earnestly, "but sometimes I get a candy bar, too." __________________ No signature. None. Seriously. Last edited by guthmund; 10-13-2005 at 09:41 AM.. Reason: Edited to remove the underage sex...