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Originally Posted by Martian
However, the visceral reaction can go as far as violence...Like I said, emotional stress creates unpredictable response
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as i suggested earlier, i think we need to take ownership of these reactions, and acknowledge our participation in shaping them. Living in a homophobic culture makes it harder to assert a heterosexual idenity. Practicing the thoughts of anger, imagining a reaction of shock, horror, rage...all of these things work to help produce our frame of mind. there is nothing about seeing a penis that biologically causes rage in heterosexual males. what does that say about our culture? it might suggest that our society has come to believe that hetero orientations are quite fragile, to the point where they need to be defended with violence. i don't know if that's how people *want* to think about hetero orientations.
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You aren't on the male side and being put in that position. I do believe that a transgender girl should inform any potential partner prior to any consentual sex act, not only for her safety, but as a moral issue. Many (even most) men would not be comfortable to have sex with a girl knowing that she was born a guy and they deserve to know in advance that this is the case, due to further psychological and emotional trauma that could be caused by being deceived. Note that one of the boys broke down crying upon discovery, an emotional reactionary response that is indicative of a high stress situation. This was due to the confirmation and sexual identity issues raised by having sex with a biological male, even if it was unintentional.
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Again. Is it a moral demand upon men that they inquire as to the natal gender of their potential sexual partners?