Personally I'm pretty nonviolent these days. Fighting can be a huge adrenaline rush, for one because there's real risk involved and also because it is blatantly flouting laws and social convention. We're not supposed to fight, which lends it some appeal.
Having become much wiser these days I don't resort to kicking the living shit out of people very often at all anymore. The way I see it, violence can often be an unthinking act that occurs when we are provoked beyond our normal limit. It can also be a calculated act, but as often as not a person who decides that he needs to hit someone else is not thinking clearly. I know where my limit is and I do my best to avoid it. A lot of people (thankfully) don't have the benefit of my experience.
I'm not proud of using violence when I do, because it's not something to be proud of. I'm not ashamed either. It's what happens if you provoke me beyond what I'm capable of dealign with. And for the record, it takes a lot more than an insult to my girlfriend. That upsets me, but not enough that lose my cool.
And I think it goes without saying that self defence is a special case. If I'm defending myself or my loved ones from physical harm I will use as much force as necessary to keep the people I care about from getting hurt. The welfare of a victim comes before that of an attacker.
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I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said
- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame
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