Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

analog · 09-12-2005, 02:51 PM

I used to teach 2nd grade (7 & 8 year-olds) religious education for about 5 years. Inevitably, within the first class or two, a kid would whine about having to read from the activity book, etc. That's when they got the talk my mom said she gave to all her students (she taught the same grade as well for a lot longer, plus she had my brother and I- though apparently I wasn't that whiny as a child, I was too quiet and shy).

"Ok everyone, let's close our books a minute. Ok, I want all the boys in the class to raise their hands if they know they're big boys!" and invariably, all of them raise their hand, they want to feel big and empowered. "Ok, now all the girls, raise your hands if you know you're big girls!" and the girls would also enthusiastically raise their hands. "I knew it! I've got a class of big boys and girls! That's great! You guys aren't babies anymore, right?" and of course they'd all shake their heads and say no (quite loudly). "If you have a problem or a question, you know how to use your big boy and big girl voices, don't you? You're not little kids anymore, whining and crying won't get you attention. Grownups like big boys and girls who know how to ask for things nicely, and know that not everything goes the way we want. So how about this- let's all agree to be big boys and girls, and not use little-kid voices when we're upset or want something... and at the end of the class, for the last ten minutes, i'll break out the crayons and we can all draw for being good, how's that?" And all the kids cheered. And that's all it took for the rest of the year's classes. Every time I gave that little talk, in my most pleasant, calm, reassuring voice, the kids would straighten out for me, and I would not once have another instance of a kid whining or crying about anything. It worked wonders.

Once, I had a mom of one of the kids come in after class and give me a huge hug. She thanked me profusely and asked me what I did. I explained what I said to the class, and asked why she was curious. The week before was the week I gave the talk to that class, and apparently the next day her boy corrected himself in mid-whine and said he was "a big boy, and big boys don't whine" and then nicely said he didn't like the food (he's a picky eater). Being that his picky eating habits have always brought out massive whining, she and her husband were literally shocked when he reversed himself and was well-mannered about it. She was so shocked that she simply said it was good for him, and he could learn to like it if he tried it, and he ate the whole thing. Afterwards, he said he still didn't like it, but ate it anyway, still in a pleasant manner. She and her husband were beside themselves. They had no idea what had caused their constant whiny child to suddenly STOP. They asked him about what he said, about being "a big boy" and that they don't whine, and he said he learned it from me. The entire week went by, and the good behavior persisted. He had changed his ways. No more whining, period. Everyone has their moments, but he would quickly reverse himself and even say he was sorry for behaving like a little kid and whining.

She called me a Godsend, thanked me and shook my hand so much I thought it would fall off, and hugged me so much I thought she wanted to squeeze the life out of me. Even though it was one case in so many, and even if it really was the only kid I affected so permanently outside the classroom, I am still happy I was able to help where I could.

Flash-forward to the end of the year, last class. I saw all the parents again (her, specifically) as a good-bye, and she again couldn't keep her hands to herself. Apparently whatever I said stuck in her kid, and he was no longer a whiner, after several more months had passed. One of my proudest moments of teaching... and it was my last year teaching, too.

09-12-2005, 02:51 PM	#21 (permalink)
analog Banned	I used to teach 2nd grade (7 & 8 year-olds) religious education for about 5 years. Inevitably, within the first class or two, a kid would whine about having to read from the activity book, etc. That's when they got the talk my mom said she gave to all her students (she taught the same grade as well for a lot longer, plus she had my brother and I- though apparently I wasn't that whiny as a child, I was too quiet and shy). "Ok everyone, let's close our books a minute. Ok, I want all the boys in the class to raise their hands if they know they're big boys!" and invariably, all of them raise their hand, they want to feel big and empowered. "Ok, now all the girls, raise your hands if you know you're big girls!" and the girls would also enthusiastically raise their hands. "I knew it! I've got a class of big boys and girls! That's great! You guys aren't babies anymore, right?" and of course they'd all shake their heads and say no (quite loudly). "If you have a problem or a question, you know how to use your big boy and big girl voices, don't you? You're not little kids anymore, whining and crying won't get you attention. Grownups like big boys and girls who know how to ask for things nicely, and know that not everything goes the way we want. So how about this- let's all agree to be big boys and girls, and not use little-kid voices when we're upset or want something... and at the end of the class, for the last ten minutes, i'll break out the crayons and we can all draw for being good, how's that?" And all the kids cheered. And that's all it took for the rest of the year's classes. Every time I gave that little talk, in my most pleasant, calm, reassuring voice, the kids would straighten out for me, and I would not once have another instance of a kid whining or crying about anything. It worked wonders. Once, I had a mom of one of the kids come in after class and give me a huge hug. She thanked me profusely and asked me what I did. I explained what I said to the class, and asked why she was curious. The week before was the week I gave the talk to that class, and apparently the next day her boy corrected himself in mid-whine and said he was "a big boy, and big boys don't whine" and then nicely said he didn't like the food (he's a picky eater). Being that his picky eating habits have always brought out massive whining, she and her husband were literally shocked when he reversed himself and was well-mannered about it. She was so shocked that she simply said it was good for him, and he could learn to like it if he tried it, and he ate the whole thing. Afterwards, he said he still didn't like it, but ate it anyway, still in a pleasant manner. She and her husband were beside themselves. They had no idea what had caused their constant whiny child to suddenly STOP. They asked him about what he said, about being "a big boy" and that they don't whine, and he said he learned it from me. The entire week went by, and the good behavior persisted. He had changed his ways. No more whining, period. Everyone has their moments, but he would quickly reverse himself and even say he was sorry for behaving like a little kid and whining. She called me a Godsend, thanked me and shook my hand so much I thought it would fall off, and hugged me so much I thought she wanted to squeeze the life out of me. Even though it was one case in so many, and even if it really was the only kid I affected so permanently outside the classroom, I am still happy I was able to help where I could. Flash-forward to the end of the year, last class. I saw all the parents again (her, specifically) as a good-bye, and she again couldn't keep her hands to herself. Apparently whatever I said stuck in her kid, and he was no longer a whiner, after several more months had passed. One of my proudest moments of teaching... and it was my last year teaching, too.