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raeanna74 · 09-11-2005, 09:14 AM

We've got plenty of threads on ways to discipline, true, but I am looking for more specific ways to counter whining and perhaps how to head it off.

Lately our 5 yr old has hit a terrible whining streak. I realize her environment has been a little upset with several things happening at once. She recently started homeschool (which amazingly enough it going well), and I had surgery last week so I've been less tolerant of bad behavior with her.

To give you an example of her whining, here is how her morning started out. She woke up, climbed into bed beside me and in a half crying tone said "I don't want to be in bed anymore Moma, it's time to get up." I told her it was fine to get up and that I would too. So we both get out of bed and she picked up the cat and walks to the stairs. Our second floor stairs are terribly steep so I said "Don't carry the cat down the stairs, put her down." My daughters response was to walk right up the to stairs and put one foot on the first step. I repeated by instructions and added that the stairs were to steep for her to carry the cat down. She put the cat down but said "I coulda done it. I'm good on the stairs." She used her high pitched whiny tone to say that as well. Finally we get downstairs and she reaches for some chips. I told her to wait and that I would take her to get some breakfast at Hardees. She responded with a smile and said "Oh goody" But followed it with a whiny tone saying "But I'm hungry." I told her we would go as soon as she was dressed. She promptly went to get some clothes and one of her drawers stuck when she tried to push it back in. She literally screamed like she was hurt. When I discovered the problem she let out a long string of whining and crying saying that she couldn't get the drawer back in, etc. This behavior continued all morning. She couldn't find the pants she wanted to wear, She didn't want to put her socks on, couldn't put them on, didn't want to pick her sock up off the floor, didn't want to put on her seat buckle, didn't want to go through drivethrough, wanted a soda, wanted Dad's hashbrowns AND hers (didn't even eat all of hers), and on and on.
We did not give in to everything. IN fact gave in to nearly nothing and only gave her things when she corrected HOW she had asked for things. She was grounded for the morning until her room was clean and so long as there was no further whining. Unfortunately there was further whining and it took her about 2 hours to pick up 5 barbies and their clothes. I realize this can be typical behavior of a child this age especially when they are tired. The sad part is that she slept well last night and long, and knows how to behave BETTER. She has behaved better. But lately there has been NO polite words out of her mouth. Everything that she has said today has been in a whining tone.

Grounding or spanking have little to no effect on her in this respect (spanking is not effective in any way because she has such a high pain tolerance). I am looking for some way to pre-empt the behavior. I don't think I am asking too much for her to ask for things politely. I am fairly consistant about it as well. She doesn't get a drink, or anything without a "please" included in the request. I do give her an opportunity to change her request if she asks in a negative way. I have considered completely ignoring her requests if she asks rudely but yet I want to reinforce the way to politely request things too.

Also - please tell me this is a phase. I just want to believe that it will pass soon with consistant effort on my part to change it.

09-11-2005, 09:14 AM	#1 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Whining and discipline We've got plenty of threads on ways to discipline, true, but I am looking for more specific ways to counter whining and perhaps how to head it off. Lately our 5 yr old has hit a terrible whining streak. I realize her environment has been a little upset with several things happening at once. She recently started homeschool (which amazingly enough it going well), and I had surgery last week so I've been less tolerant of bad behavior with her. To give you an example of her whining, here is how her morning started out. She woke up, climbed into bed beside me and in a half crying tone said "I don't want to be in bed anymore Moma, it's time to get up." I told her it was fine to get up and that I would too. So we both get out of bed and she picked up the cat and walks to the stairs. Our second floor stairs are terribly steep so I said "Don't carry the cat down the stairs, put her down." My daughters response was to walk right up the to stairs and put one foot on the first step. I repeated by instructions and added that the stairs were to steep for her to carry the cat down. She put the cat down but said "I coulda done it. I'm good on the stairs." She used her high pitched whiny tone to say that as well. Finally we get downstairs and she reaches for some chips. I told her to wait and that I would take her to get some breakfast at Hardees. She responded with a smile and said "Oh goody" But followed it with a whiny tone saying "But I'm hungry." I told her we would go as soon as she was dressed. She promptly went to get some clothes and one of her drawers stuck when she tried to push it back in. She literally screamed like she was hurt. When I discovered the problem she let out a long string of whining and crying saying that she couldn't get the drawer back in, etc. This behavior continued all morning. She couldn't find the pants she wanted to wear, She didn't want to put her socks on, couldn't put them on, didn't want to pick her sock up off the floor, didn't want to put on her seat buckle, didn't want to go through drivethrough, wanted a soda, wanted Dad's hashbrowns AND hers (didn't even eat all of hers), and on and on. We did not give in to everything. IN fact gave in to nearly nothing and only gave her things when she corrected HOW she had asked for things. She was grounded for the morning until her room was clean and so long as there was no further whining. Unfortunately there was further whining and it took her about 2 hours to pick up 5 barbies and their clothes. I realize this can be typical behavior of a child this age especially when they are tired. The sad part is that she slept well last night and long, and knows how to behave BETTER. She has behaved better. But lately there has been NO polite words out of her mouth. Everything that she has said today has been in a whining tone. Grounding or spanking have little to no effect on her in this respect (spanking is not effective in any way because she has such a high pain tolerance). I am looking for some way to pre-empt the behavior. I don't think I am asking too much for her to ask for things politely. I am fairly consistant about it as well. She doesn't get a drink, or anything without a "please" included in the request. I do give her an opportunity to change her request if she asks in a negative way. I have considered completely ignoring her requests if she asks rudely but yet I want to reinforce the way to politely request things too. Also - please tell me this is a phase. I just want to believe that it will pass soon with consistant effort on my part to change it. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.