It didn’t rock my world, provide hours of fun for all ages, give me an erection,
eliminate static cling, make me lose three inches and thirty pounds, make my teeth two shades whiter, make my weekend beater use less oil, add zing to my salad, find me a fun, fulfilling, lucrative career, go the extra mile, change the way I feel about dentists, increase my penis size, restore the luster to my fine wood furniture, cure my clinical depression, soak up twenty percent more liquid, leave my hands silky smooth, give me a crystal clear connection to my brother in Alexandria, pamper me like royalty, wash away my gray, make life more delicious, leave me with a clean, dry feeling, get me there in style, make my breath kissing sweet, increase my stamina and performance, save energy, make me computer literate, yield a six-figure return, give me safe, restful sleep, keep my gutters from clogging, put a spring in my step, cut out the middle man, arrive in thirty minutes or less, or come with a no hassle return policy...
...so what DOES this thing do?
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