Quote:
Originally posted by Bones
DANE COOK, ROBERT SCHIMMEL
funny funny men
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"C'mon JUST SUCK MY BACK!!!"
My fav Cook quote.
My favorite comedians are Dennis Leary, Lewis Black ( If you don't know him DL something from him off Kazaa, he is god.) and last but not least Mitch Hedberg.
"Ya know some people say life sucks then you die. They're wrong, I believe life sucks then you get cancer, go into chemo, lose all your hair, then one day the cancer goes into remission you come out feeling good about yourself then a truck hits and MAYBE you die!"
--Dennis Leary "No Cure for Cancer"
"Every year I do my taxes and every year theres one question, when I get to I just go booauh and pass out. What is your non-farm income? Well that implies I own farmland. Now I know I did alot of LSD in my day, just in-case you guys didn't know that I DID, but I think I'd remember purchasing FARMLAND!! Well I gotta go now and find this farm of mine cause if I don't hurry I'll bet all the pig and ponies have died!"
--Lewis Black "Taxed Beyond Belief"
"I went to this heavy metal concert last night, man. It was off the hook, this band called Monster Magnet. The lead singer he comes out and says 'How many of you feel like humans?!' And I cheered. But then he said 'How many of you feel like animals?!' Then everyone else cheered. You see I didn't know there was a second part to the question. 'Yes I feel like a human, I do not feel like a tree.'
--Mitch Hedberg, Comedy Central Special