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There are two issues here:
1. Obeying the wishes of the homeowner. If she doesn't want pets in her home, it would be politic to respect those wishes, just as much as if she had said she'd prefer no children younger than 5. Some people don't like dogs. Some people don't like babies. For those who equate pets with children, an uncontrolled, rambunctious dog is functionally a toddler in its capacity to wreak havoc and make messes.
2. Equating a dog with a human: I love my dog and she is essentially a part of our family. However, having lost a brother that I basically raised, and having lost beloved pets, I can tell you that there is a difference. But that doesn't mean I don't love her and treat her like my child. The difference is that I don't expect everyone else in the world to think the same way I do, and I don't get offended if they don't. The couple (or wife of the couple, as it sounds like) who is getting all huffy is not getting huffy about the dog, it sounds like, as much as she's getting huffy about her feelings being disregarded. There's no reason she can't find a "babysitter" for the dog. She's not nuts, just a little self-absorbed.
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"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."
- Anatole France
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