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Hmm, this is a touchy issue. I had a dog as a child that I loved very much. She was family and I can understand how these people feel. However, we never took her on vacation or to family/friend gatherings, unless she was invited. As was mentioned earlier though, do you want to keep these people as friends? It sounds as if they are very offended by the uninvitation of the dog.
I think that dogs can be like children, especially toddlers. They both get into things, make messes, act obnoxious, and are loud at times. So there can be a comparison to the behavior between a dog and a child.
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