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Stepped on a nail while rebuilding our deck a few years ago. Was holding 3 nail filled boards at the moment as well and the nail went in at a weird angle so I couldn't get the nail out for about 15 seconds.
Yup, nails + human body = bad day.
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One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink but then held it out over the beer and yelled "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!"
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