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Originally Posted by ohh_shesus
Two words...Slippery slope.
If the lines are clearly drawn and the spouses know then it should be fine. However, if you feel you can't tell your wife then you have guilt and that is a sign that you are doing something wrong. I have had a few flirtations during my marriage and JJ has always known and we joke about them. If you aren't open then stop because it's going to cause harm in the long run.
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This is wise advice, but I'm more conservative. Just back off.
You're both attracted to each other and you spend nearly as much time with each other as you do with your respective spice. You share your lives with each other and have many common experiences together. At some point, the part of your brain which is hooked into emotion and basic feelings is going to get ... confused. And hers will too. It might be after a tough day; it might be when one of you is in distress and the other is comforting them. There'll be a hug, and then a mutual impulse to a kiss -- it'll just happen. And then neither of you will know _what_ the hell is going on, what's right or what's wrong in that moment. You might try break it off, but it'll _feel_ right. Even though it isn't.
You might have enough will-power to stop this from happening; but a whole lot don't. If you tell your wife about all this right now, she'll be wary, and rightly so. Chemistry can overrule the best of intentions. And your wife knows about chemistry.
Back off; stay friendly, but don't go to lunch together or do anything together outside of the office. Make her a "work friend" and nothing more.