I would highly suggest a sex toy.
Like Abaya, i was repressed and didn't start masturbating until my gyno. asked me if i had ever had an orgasm.. and i hadn't! I was 21 and having sex and had never gotten off... well, i got a vibrator and just relaxed a little and now i masturbate ever day and our sex life is amazing now..
Just relax and let yourself feel things, and you're not nutty at all, lots and lots of women have issues surrouding masturbation and sex toys...
In my opinion, no need to spend allot of money on a special sex toy, any old 20 dollar vibrator will do the trick
Sweetpea