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JoeSixPack · 08-26-2005, 08:24 AM

I like to think of myself as still being a far cry from 40

, but at age 28 (29 next month), I am a man who has never had sexual intercourse. I guess for me it's been a combination of religious reasons and shyness/antisociality.

I've only ever had 2 girlfriends in my life. I dated the first one from the time she was 19 and I 21, until she broke up with me 2.5 years later. We "fooled around" a lot and basically did everything but intercourse, but never intercourse. The 2nd one, whom I'm with now, I've been dating for a year so far, though we dated for about 6 months a year prior to that. We wouldn't be doing anything more than kissing unless and until we get married, and while I'm pressing for marriage, she says she's not ready yet. She's only 6 months younger than me, so, not only am I running out of time to be able to say I had sex before I turned 30, I'm also running out of time when it comes to ever having had sex in my life with a girl who was younger than 29.

I must admit, I've been feeling tinges of regret about that more and more. My first girlfriend and I always said we weren't having sex because we believed premarital sex was wrong, but looking back, I think it was mainly because I asserted early in our relationship that I didn't believe in premarital sex, and she just kind of went along with it. I think that if I had never brought the subject up, not only could I eventually have asked for sex and she would happily have consented, but she eventually would have asked for it. I regret it sometimes because by now I've pretty much passed the age where I could ever realistically have sex with a 19 year old girl--missed the boat there.

Obviously, given my situation, I don't look down on people who are older than 18/19 and have never had sex. Because of my shyness, however, I am mystified by people who say they did or didn't have sex as a result of their own personal choice, as in "by the time I was 15, I really wanted to have sex, so I did it." I can't really quite grasp what it means for a guy to be able to make that statement, since it seems to neglect that little detail of finding a willing partner. I mean, an attractive girl can certainly get sex whenever she wants. And I suppose the studly captain of the football team can too. But, when I was a teenager, I couldn't even have begun to imagine how I might get anywhere near a girl I found attractive, let alone get as far as getting her to have sex with me. For many of us, sex doesn't just fall into our lap.

Anyway, though I've said religious reasons were a factor for me, I can't honestly say what I'd have done if I had been in the position of the captain of the football team with girls throwing themselves at me. It's easy for me to sit here and say I didn't have sex because I thought it was wrong, when in reality I didn't even have the opportunity (at least in high school.) I might very well have given in if I'd had girls throwing themselves at me when I was 16.

08-26-2005, 08:24 AM	#58 (permalink)
JoeSixPack Upright	I like to think of myself as still being a far cry from 40 , but at age 28 (29 next month), I am a man who has never had sexual intercourse. I guess for me it's been a combination of religious reasons and shyness/antisociality. I've only ever had 2 girlfriends in my life. I dated the first one from the time she was 19 and I 21, until she broke up with me 2.5 years later. We "fooled around" a lot and basically did everything but intercourse, but never intercourse. The 2nd one, whom I'm with now, I've been dating for a year so far, though we dated for about 6 months a year prior to that. We wouldn't be doing anything more than kissing unless and until we get married, and while I'm pressing for marriage, she says she's not ready yet. She's only 6 months younger than me, so, not only am I running out of time to be able to say I had sex before I turned 30, I'm also running out of time when it comes to ever having had sex in my life with a girl who was younger than 29. I must admit, I've been feeling tinges of regret about that more and more. My first girlfriend and I always said we weren't having sex because we believed premarital sex was wrong, but looking back, I think it was mainly because I asserted early in our relationship that I didn't believe in premarital sex, and she just kind of went along with it. I think that if I had never brought the subject up, not only could I eventually have asked for sex and she would happily have consented, but she eventually would have asked for it. I regret it sometimes because by now I've pretty much passed the age where I could ever realistically have sex with a 19 year old girl--missed the boat there. Obviously, given my situation, I don't look down on people who are older than 18/19 and have never had sex. Because of my shyness, however, I am mystified by people who say they did or didn't have sex as a result of their own personal choice, as in "by the time I was 15, I really wanted to have sex, so I did it." I can't really quite grasp what it means for a guy to be able to make that statement, since it seems to neglect that little detail of finding a willing partner. I mean, an attractive girl can certainly get sex whenever she wants. And I suppose the studly captain of the football team can too. But, when I was a teenager, I couldn't even have begun to imagine how I might get anywhere near a girl I found attractive, let alone get as far as getting her to have sex with me. For many of us, sex doesn't just fall into our lap. Anyway, though I've said religious reasons were a factor for me, I can't honestly say what I'd have done if I had been in the position of the captain of the football team with girls throwing themselves at me. It's easy for me to sit here and say I didn't have sex because I thought it was wrong, when in reality I didn't even have the opportunity (at least in high school.) I might very well have given in if I'd had girls throwing themselves at me when I was 16.