This is probably a very common experience. I've certainly had a similar experience, but it became very difficult after about 12 months. There was never any 'extramarital activity' as you put it, but it was very difficult to keep things within bounds because of the strength of the attraction. I agree with ratbastid about communication. I would just add that, I think, if you can't tell your spouse about it openly, or you would be embarassed if your spouse saw how you were relating to your co-worker, then you're probably overstepping the mark and may not be being true to yourself or spouse. You and your co-worker might also find it very difficult to maintain a mutually agreeable fence around things, or to wind things back if necessary. I did tell my spouse about my situation after a while and soon after decided to look for another job. It ended OK for me, but I know that my marriage could easily have been shipwrecked if I'd gone much further down the flirtation track. Looking back I probably left the job just in time and am glad to say that my family life has never been better!
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