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Bob Biter · 08-25-2005, 10:14 PM

There's an old Shaolin saying: "Avoid rather than check, check rather than hurt, hurt rather than maim, maim rather than kill." Even kung fu masters know that violence is never the first answer. While Gilda didn't confront the creep, she didn't get herself into more trouble either, and I think everyone who suggested violence should stop and consider that. None of us can know what the guy's state of mind was, so none of us can know with utmost certainty what would've happened if Gilda clocked the guy or even just yelled at him. Her instinct was to move away. It's the most natural to her and the one she can choose most easily.

My suggestion, should an unfortunate situation like that happen again in a public place, would be to move away (not leave the store) and seek out staff. She wouldn't need to report the guy, just ask a random question about something. If she notices the guy still lingering, then she can either leave the store or point him out. At that point, she would be aware of the situation (not as surprised as she was before) and hopefully more able to deal with it.

I understand Sissy's comment about both Gilda's confidence at school and her dependance on Grace. Since a teacher requires enough self-confidence to MAINTAIN the authority given by the school, one would expect that kind of person to have the same behaviour/self-confidence outside. However, talking to kids one sees everyday, and going through one's teaching routine, isn't the same thing as dealing with some random person who SUDDENLY invades one's personal space. I was a teacher in Japan for 2 years and I still get rattled if I get accosted by some punks on the street.

As for dependance on Grace, well that's just the dynamic of the relationship. If Grace disappeared tomorrow and never came back, then Gilda would most certainly be affected. Would she develop her self-confidence more? Would she find another strong person to protect her? Who knows? The point is that she can count on Grace NOW. Only Gilda knows how to empower herself further and if she needs that power. Once she finds herself truly needing it, she'll get it.

08-25-2005, 10:14 PM	#104 (permalink)
Bob Biter Non-smokers die everyday Location: Montreal	There's an old Shaolin saying: "Avoid rather than check, check rather than hurt, hurt rather than maim, maim rather than kill." Even kung fu masters know that violence is never the first answer. While Gilda didn't confront the creep, she didn't get herself into more trouble either, and I think everyone who suggested violence should stop and consider that. None of us can know what the guy's state of mind was, so none of us can know with utmost certainty what would've happened if Gilda clocked the guy or even just yelled at him. Her instinct was to move away. It's the most natural to her and the one she can choose most easily. My suggestion, should an unfortunate situation like that happen again in a public place, would be to move away (not leave the store) and seek out staff. She wouldn't need to report the guy, just ask a random question about something. If she notices the guy still lingering, then she can either leave the store or point him out. At that point, she would be aware of the situation (not as surprised as she was before) and hopefully more able to deal with it. I understand Sissy's comment about both Gilda's confidence at school and her dependance on Grace. Since a teacher requires enough self-confidence to MAINTAIN the authority given by the school, one would expect that kind of person to have the same behaviour/self-confidence outside. However, talking to kids one sees everyday, and going through one's teaching routine, isn't the same thing as dealing with some random person who SUDDENLY invades one's personal space. I was a teacher in Japan for 2 years and I still get rattled if I get accosted by some punks on the street. As for dependance on Grace, well that's just the dynamic of the relationship. If Grace disappeared tomorrow and never came back, then Gilda would most certainly be affected. Would she develop her self-confidence more? Would she find another strong person to protect her? Who knows? The point is that she can count on Grace NOW. Only Gilda knows how to empower herself further and if she needs that power. Once she finds herself truly needing it, she'll get it. __________________ A plan is just a list of things that don't happen.