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Only read the OP. But if you are happy you need to sac up and set your mother straight. Doesn't have to be harsh and it doesn't have to be hurtful. You tell her how you feel about this women and in so many words you tell her that when you insult/ hurt my gf, you are in turn hurting my feelings as well. If things persist, do what i do. Cut off contact with Mom for two weeks. No phone calls, emails, letters, carrier pigeons, etc.
That always gets things through to my folks that you just don't mess with the people in my life who are closest to me.
Himbo.
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