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Originally Posted by maleficent
BUT... and a good friend of mine does this and I will smack her whenever she does... Don't play the martyr, which is what Raenna seems to be falling into.... She had to scrounge to get a 13 dollar hair cut, when DEI can buy pretty much whatever he wants... Give yourselves both an allowance and stick to it -- seperate from the household budget and you can do whatever you want to with that money. If you want something, get it...
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We had worked this out at one point where when we needed something we were able to go ahead and get it. Just lately we've been extra tight and so we've checked things with each other unless it was absolutely necessary like a gallon of milk. Then we start not being so tight. But the minute we start to have extra money - HE spends it. I shouldn't be such a pushover maybe. He pouts. I should remind him of my needs and wants. I hate doing that though because I feel selfish and mean. So I scrounge instead.
As for nagging. I ask if he would mind vacuuming. He'll say SURE. I'll tell him that I need the crumbs off the floor before the kids come the next day and I need the vacuuming done before my daughter goes to bed because I don't want the noise to wake her up. He'll say that he understands and will get it done before 9:00. Around 8:00 I'll remind him that it's getting late for vacuuming and that our daughter is getting ready for bed. By 8:30 it'll still be undone. I'll remind him again that she's going to bed. He'll say he'll do it before work the next morning. Fine. I'll wait till morning and remind him that it's getting close to time for leaving for work if he wants to vacuum he should get it done. He'll say "In a minute" then 10 minutes later he's gotta finish getting ready and leave. It never got done. This has happened MANY times. I even point the procrastination problem out to him without yelling or flipping out. He'll apologize but next time he has completely forgotten.
He doesn't forget the size of the engine in the car in the want ads. He can go weeks and still remember that. Why don't they remember this? Or am I naive enough to think that they don't remember when he purposely forgets??
I normally don't mind doing housework. I don't work outside the home and enjoy it most of the time. It's just lately the balance of responsibility has slowly shifted to my shoulders all except for his 8-5 job. Everything including personal care for ALL the members of my family has become something that everyone expects me to do. I need to shift that back.
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