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Rodney · 08-21-2005, 06:51 AM

Well, we're both slobs. The difference is that she feels guilty about it, and occasionally she'll get moody about it. But when I get her to talk straight about it, she's as mad at herself as she is at me. She's a fabulous person with some self-esteem issues.

I do the laundry because it's invisible to her. Literally. If I want to guilt her out, all I have to do is ask her to do a load when I leave the house. She'll readily agree, invariably forget to do it, and then apologize. So I do the laundry, and I get a lot of credit for it. Probably too much.

I used to do all the bills because I felt that "the guy" was supposed to, and also at first because a lot of stuff was in my name. But she saw that I really hated doing it, and tended to procrastinate a lot; so she took it over. She automated most of it, too, so that she "pays" most of the bills in five minutes a month over the Internet.

We have a dead back yard, and neither of us worries about it. I basically hack at the front yard to keep it in line every couple of month; she used to do a lot more out there, but not recently. I do have a little bit of resentment, because the front yard would be a lot easier to take care of if she hadn't put in some really complicated plantings a couple of years back. And she's grateful for everything I do in the front yard _unless_ I do something she doesn't like. And of course I don't find out about that until afterwards. :-)

We cook together for the major meal of the day, and shop together as well. So that's not an issue.

Cleaning and neatening; we don't do a lot of that. Every so often a room will get to be too messy for her and she declares that we _must_ clean it up. But then we set a date for that, and do it together. God knows neither of us would be motivated enough to do it on our own.

Thing is, I'm not really a traditional kind of guy and she's not really a traditional kind of woman. So we went in without too many preconceptions and kind of worked out an arrangement that suits us. The only part that's a little weird is the front yard; and she's been open to gardeners, but she keeps firing them!

08-21-2005, 06:51 AM	#10 (permalink)
Rodney Observant Ruminant Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town	Well, we're both slobs. The difference is that she feels guilty about it, and occasionally she'll get moody about it. But when I get her to talk straight about it, she's as mad at herself as she is at me. She's a fabulous person with some self-esteem issues. I do the laundry because it's invisible to her. Literally. If I want to guilt her out, all I have to do is ask her to do a load when I leave the house. She'll readily agree, invariably forget to do it, and then apologize. So I do the laundry, and I get a lot of credit for it. Probably too much. I used to do all the bills because I felt that "the guy" was supposed to, and also at first because a lot of stuff was in my name. But she saw that I really hated doing it, and tended to procrastinate a lot; so she took it over. She automated most of it, too, so that she "pays" most of the bills in five minutes a month over the Internet. We have a dead back yard, and neither of us worries about it. I basically hack at the front yard to keep it in line every couple of month; she used to do a lot more out there, but not recently. I do have a little bit of resentment, because the front yard would be a lot easier to take care of if she hadn't put in some really complicated plantings a couple of years back. And she's grateful for everything I do in the front yard _unless_ I do something she doesn't like. And of course I don't find out about that until afterwards. :-) We cook together for the major meal of the day, and shop together as well. So that's not an issue. Cleaning and neatening; we don't do a lot of that. Every so often a room will get to be too messy for her and she declares that we _must_ clean it up. But then we set a date for that, and do it together. God knows neither of us would be motivated enough to do it on our own. Thing is, I'm not really a traditional kind of guy and she's not really a traditional kind of woman. So we went in without too many preconceptions and kind of worked out an arrangement that suits us. The only part that's a little weird is the front yard; and she's been open to gardeners, but she keeps firing them!